4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
