Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
