Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
