we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
