SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
