Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
and she was petting her beer can
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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