so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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