"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
