the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
