my phone needs a breathalizer
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
