I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
NoShamevember. You game?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
