At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
