like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Hippo gnu deer
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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