Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
