I hate your face
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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