I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
accomplished twins. life is a go
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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