we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
