Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
