the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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