I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
