No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
