i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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