11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize
