I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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