Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
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