Umm I'm too high to move.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
