Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
