OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
