Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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