Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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