Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize