he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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