I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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