Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I understand Curling. That high.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Randomize
