ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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