Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize