i wish my penis had a tongue
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
