Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
