Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
