I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
