it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
