I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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