brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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