once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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