She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Boobs speak an international language.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
