Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
