I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i drank out of a bidet.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I think my moral compass just broke
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