we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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