Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
