so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
