Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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