well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
