Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
