The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize