the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
This girl is more easily done than said...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
