Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
