It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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