I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
