it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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